We have put our fertility on hold and in his hands

We have decided to put our fertility in his hands instead of our own,I have been going through some things lately and do not like the person I have become. We are not directly takeing our fertility in our hands nor are we preventing. It's all up to him now.

Gosh this is soo hard!!!!

First, I'm so happy for all my friends around me getting pregnant. These babies are truly blessing,so why do I feel so jealous.I feel as if by the time I announce my pregnancy,I'll be all excited out for being excited for them. It's such a shame I feel like this, I know God has his timing, but gosh darn it I have waited for such along time to feel pregnant again,to breastfeed again,and have that new born smell again.

Please pray for God's comfort for me.

We had our first semen analysis yesterday.

My loving husband went yesterday and had his first semen analysis, the counts were great, I'm assuming. The Dr's office called and could not give me the information. The count was 63.50 x 10ml and 70% motility.

This morning during church service

I felt this enormous feeling come over me, such a huge closeness with our Lord. I felt as if he hugged me and said "it will be ok,my child" I know y'all might think I'm nuts but I did. I felt so into God this morning that my fears where no more.

Today we on day 3,and counting.

Well, I have started my cycle so we are now onto day 3,and counting. It's funny b/c I had decided to check what my EDD would be and wouldn't you know it, the same EDD as when we were preggo with my Emily,on my sister's birthday. August 21st. Funny Emily came early though. I'm not so sure having the two so close in birthdays though.

Asking God for our miracle

I have been down in the dumps the last few days and realized the other day,how did I ever get through the long journey before. I had to sit and really think,how did I wait upon the Lord for our answers to prayer,when was it I laid all out and gave it to him.
Tomorrow,I'm going to church with a plan,I'm going to go to the Alter and renew myself in Christ,I think I have fallen away from the ways of the Lord. I have depended on myself to make this happen and I need to lay at his feet and say take it God it's yours.